Thursday, January 29, 2015

True love?

Hello there,

It's been so long since I've written anything now. I can't seem to put my heart into writing a post after such a long time. But recently, while on a train ride, I pondered on a seemingly simple yet mind-boggling question. 

What is true love? 

Is there such a thing?

or is there only love?

Well, it's not as if I'm a crazy lady who lives alone with 10,000 cats. I know what love means. Even then I'd still know love, with my 10,000 cats and all. But then again, love can be a very complicated thing. What people might see as love, I might not. And vice versa. Love can be seen anywhere really. It's in the eyes of the beholder. Between humans beings, animal or even animals and human beings or with objects where you have a sentimental memory of. 

I've been obsessed with a Korean reality programme called The Superman Returns. It basically a show about dads taking care of their kids. And when a little girl in the show was asked 'what is love', she replied saying it's when being able to make a person laugh. (And of course, I paraphrase. I don't exactly know what she said. It's in Korean.) 

'Love is being able to make a person laugh.' How innocent and yet I quite agree with that.  The world now has somehow complicated such a term through the social media in it's materialistic ways. 

'Being able to make a person laugh.' hmmmm... 

To be honest, to me, to love is to care for a person. To be able to make them feel happy or sad in any situation. To be able to feel like whatever you do will affect them. And to be able to make them proud in your own ways. 

I have always tried my best in doing things as to not disappoint the people I love. And if you've been reading my blogs, you'd know that being a disappointment has and always will be the biggest fear of mine.  

However, true love is a different thing altogether. ( To me anyways.) And I have came across a quote saying that true love isn't found but built. 

Love doesn't always relate to romance and I hope that it stays as simple and as innocent as it possibly can. Like a child's' mind where overthinking is non-existence and not corrupted. 

Anyways, that's it for now. Till next time. xoxo

PS. Just wanted to share my Current fav song.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Food for thoughts: Gratitude

So recently I've been seeing that people all around are getting richer and richer. Or maybe the appearance of people who's rich. They're either flaunting accessories which can cost more than my monthly living expenses or lifestyles that not many people can afford to keep up with. And my question is, Do they know how privileged they are? I know of some that just aren't aware of that and tend to be very demanding and I just can't help but wonder what goes on in their minds. On the contrary though, there are some that are really down to earth ever.

I am by far what you call 'born with a silverspoon' but I admit that I live a comfortable life. I have 3 full meals everyday and a roof over my head without a worry. But I am very well aware that there are some people who struggle with life by making do with what they have while there are also others who are the most zealous and intelligent people who don't opportunity and means to achieve better. I hope that these people won't ever give up on achieving their goals. Life may have it's ups and downs. But with patience and the drive to success, I know that one day when the time comes everything will be what we expect or better. I always tell myself that no matter how difficult the problem is, do the best I can so that there are no regrets.

I write here so that I have something to always remind myself how blessed I am for the things that I have now and that I am grateful for having my amazing family, especially my parents as I wouldn't have the life I have now if it weren't for the sacrifices they make. Having a handful of close friends help make life sweeter as well.

PS. This blog has grown to become a diary to me. #dontjudge :D

Anyways, Till next time. xoxo

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Feeling Homeless

Ever felt like you haven't had a place to call home or to not have shelter over your head?

You have???? I am so sorry and I can only imagine how horrible that was.

For me, I was almost homeless.. HAHHAA!! As in if I haven't got my fat ass up to book my accommodations I would've been! The problems for international students. And me being so indecisive didn't help one bit.

Just the thought of being homeless got me settled my transaction today and OMG! SOOOO MUCH TROUBLE! Words of advice, NEVER, I REPEAT, NEVER, NOT DOUBLE CHECK WHAT YOU KEYED IN.

So basically, I keyed in some wrong details into the info boxes and got my transaction cancelled. When I check my bank account. THE MONEY IS GONE!!! KAPISHHH!! Just like that..

Me being the psycho who ''over worries'' about stuff had to take my whole afternoon calling god-knows how many times to banks with phone numbers which doesn't work. It was so frustrating to wait for someone available. Then at the end, they said they couldn't do anything. =.=

So I had to call the accommodation instead. Thank goodness they said my money will be back in 3-5 days!!!

So, moral of the story. Silly mistakes are no nos'. EVER. or I'll end up pennyless and homeless

Till next time!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Relationship Problems

My love life so far has always been a upward rolling train.  But sometimes shit happens.  One second is all lovey dovey, the next it's a freaking volcano and a hurricane happening at the same time.

I'm always trying to juggle being the best girlfriend and a good daughter altogether. But when I'm trying to be a good girlfriend by doing things for him, it could turn out to be a disappointing choice to my parents. And being a miss-goody-two-shoes, I always think of what my actions would make my parents think of me. The chain reaction from this upsets my love life so bad that sometimes it just blindsided me and i just have no idea how to handle it. The thing is, we just expect each other to do the things we have in mind and when it's doesn't come out the way we want it to... KABOOM.

The stuff that he'd do for me is beyond what I could do in some many levels. Which makes me feel so useless and unappreciative. Sometimes I have the thought that how he deserves someone who'll always be there for him and not drag promises. Someone who is much more of a perfect person. Prettier, smarter, much more capable of doing the things that I couldn't or don't. But selfish me holds on to the glimmer of hope I have that it wouldn't be true.

Here's to hoping for the best.  

P.S I'm trying as hard as I can to muster the courage and I love you.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Beauty Standards.

It has been months since I've written anything. But I just felt the need to rant about how I've felt since coming back home to South East Asia.

For those who've been reading my blogs would know that I've been away from home in Europe for my studies. After 9 months I come back home for the summer. And during this summer, I've gained a lot of weight. 4kg - 5kgs to be exact. I used to be 58kg and now I'm either 62kg or 63kg.

The thing is, people in Asia have a different kind of view of what beautiful is compared to western countries... In Asia, the term beautiful is used for those who are extremely skinny, with no curves, an almond shaped face and straight long black hair. Being an asian myself with most of my family members in Asia, family members and friends tend to be very judgemental about my weight. Giving comments like wow, when you go swimming I can see those fat thighs of yours. Or even, why are you wearing those pants when you're thighs are so big? AND, OMG you've gone out of shape. I have a huge ego. And these comments are just really hurtful and got to me.

Unlike in Asia, Westerners are fine with all shapes and sizes. My aunt who has been in Europe for a long time told me that 'it's alright. Just let them have their say. What's wrong with a little curve? But if you really wanna lose weight, just control your diet and drink lots of water.' I've always been a very sensitive person, but when she said that, I was touched. Even though I wasn't very close to her, her words were so comforting after hearing all the irks from people closest to me. I can't tell you that I don't give a damn about what people say because I do.

Therefore, this post is gonna be my starting point to my goal weight at 52kg.

07.08.14 - 62kg

That's all for now. xoxo.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Back to blogging

I'm gonna start this post by saying, DAMN IT'S BEEN LONG SINCE I'VE BLOGGED.

Anyways, hi people!!! I'm back! HEHEHEHE. So it's Spring now in the UK for those who's kinda clueless. Spring here is awesome because it's not like Scotland where it always rains. You'll never know what you can get here in England though. What am i saying??? lol!! You'll never know what you can get anywhere in the UK It's like those free toys in cereal boxes when I was a little kid. *shout out to all 90s kids*.  Like I literally don''t know what to expect. It could be sunny and then in just 5 seconds it starts pouring. And my face would be like 


So back to the SHORT update on my boring life. Finals are just around the corner. As in 10 more days! AHHHHHH! I've been reading up on Law and I'm having a love hate relationship with it. I love know all those legal information but I hate that I have to memorise so many cases to refer to in the exams. Then there are 3 more modules to go through and then, freedom!!! And then, and then, and then.......
 it's time to go home!! 

I can't wait to eat all the food back home! However, that's all for now... I'm gonna go study now. 

Until next time! xoxo

I just can't resist not putting a #selfie . Sorry not sorry. ;D

I know I've gained weight. I've been happily indulging on nonsense. 

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Beauty ?.?

Hi readers, 

It has been an extremely long time since I've blogged. Forgive me, I've been lazy. Oopsss. hahahaha. BUSY!!!! Assignments every week is no fun at all. But I've handed in mine for now, and I'm freeeee. YAAAYYY!!

Anyways, want to know what I've been so determined to do lately? Losing weight!!!! Though not much of a success there. I can't seem to stop eating junk. For example, see the picture below?? I swear I can finish them in a day. Though it say digestives, it doesn't help you digest at all. It just makes you fat. That's all it does.One packet is almost 2000 calories. And I ate 2 at once. NICEEEEEE. BUT IT'S SO GOOD THOUGH. The chocolate and the biscuit just works so well together. Other brands can't compare. Oh god. I'm making myself want to get more. T.T 

Buy 2 for the price of 1. Damn it.

To compensate for all the nonsense I've eaten, I've been going to the gym everyday now. I try to attend at least 2 classes a day. But when I don't have the time, I go for a short 30 minute run. To feel like I've at least done something. Hope it all turn out well before I go back to Malaysia. MY GOAL! To lose 5-10 kgs.

I'm not obese or anything. No. But the society today just expects perfect looking girls to have long and slim legs and arms, a flat tummy while having boobs and a butt. That's what has been injected into this generations' mind. And that's my image of a perfect body. I want slim thighs, a flat tummy, long slim arms and boobs and a nice butt. Not really like a Victoria Secret model because I know that's *sings*  IMPOSSIBLE~~~~. I'm only 5' 2''. I know. Short. 

I'm not gonna lie to you and say beauty is only skin deep. That's a very deep saying. I know a lot of people say that but how many actually believe that's true? The first thing people see is your appearance, judge, then only decide whether to get to know you or not. Sadly, that's how it works. 

But on the bright side, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS 'I CAN'T DO IT, BECAUSE IT'S GENETICS', only LAZY people say that. If you want a great body, work hard for it. At least try. When you see the difference, it's all worth it.

These aren't my body... HAHAHAH!!! How I wish though.

Till next time! xoxo