My love life so far has always been a upward rolling train. But sometimes shit happens. One second is all lovey dovey, the next it's a freaking volcano and a hurricane happening at the same time.
I'm always trying to juggle being the best girlfriend and a good daughter altogether. But when I'm trying to be a good girlfriend by doing things for him, it could turn out to be a disappointing choice to my parents. And being a miss-goody-two-shoes, I always think of what my actions would make my parents think of me. The chain reaction from this upsets my love life so bad that sometimes it just blindsided me and i just have no idea how to handle it. The thing is, we just expect each other to do the things we have in mind and when it's doesn't come out the way we want it to... KABOOM.
The stuff that he'd do for me is beyond what I could do in some many levels. Which makes me feel so useless and unappreciative. Sometimes I have the thought that how he deserves someone who'll always be there for him and not drag promises. Someone who is much more of a perfect person. Prettier, smarter, much more capable of doing the things that I couldn't or don't. But selfish me holds on to the glimmer of hope I have that it wouldn't be true.
Here's to hoping for the best.
P.S I'm trying as hard as I can to muster the courage and I love you.
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